#and woke up to horrible news
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How It's Going
Thing2: How's the election going?
Me: Not great. But it's early.
Thing2: *peers over my shoulder at the computer* Red wave. That's all it is.
Me: I hope.
Thing2: Why are there bottle of alcohol on the counter?
Me: Because it's election night.
Thing2: Fair enough.
#my boring life#my kids#thing2#election night#how late am i gonna stay up#watching an election that absolutely won't be decided#until tomorrow at the VERY earliest?#who knows#in 2016 i went to bed feeling solid about hilary#and woke up to horrible news#that was not a good morning#i guess we'll see#pique queue
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what if i put my life in your hands? what if i took your life in mine?
#okay look there's a reason i've been obsessed with this scene for 21 slutty slutty years#imagine for a second you're yue#your master—whom you loved more than your own existence—decided his work was finished and didn't need you anymore#and he pushed you into the dark where you slept for centuries until a little girl woke you up by sheer dumb luck#you now are trapped in this horrible new era where everything is too loud and too fast and too bright#you're also trapped in a body that isn't yours jockeying for room with a completely separate soul that you don't know or particularly like#and you're draining your meager stores of magic to the dregs in order to keep the two of you alive#under the surface of tsukishiro yukito you're drowning—and the both of you are fading away entirely#and then this boy#pulls you to the surface of yourself#and says with his whole heart 'i won't let you disappear'#he smiles at you and teases you and then pours his not inconsiderable power into you#and you take and you take and you take and he never says stop#he never says only a little but no more#he holds you close and lets you sup on the very marrow of his magic until there's nothing left and he's simply an ordinary human#and for the first time in centuries—perhaps ever—you feel full#when you finally step away and ease his unconscious body onto the bed as gently as you can manage#you murmur that you ought to thank him#but it's such an inadequate way to convey your gratitude#how do you give thanks for what you've made him lose?#you put your life in his hands and he cradled it as if it were precious... and then he gave you his own in return#in the world before this one you would have been as good as wed#you thumb the swell of his cheek and allow yourself one last look at your would-be husband#and then turn around to face the threat behind the door#as it creaks open to reveal a little body wracked with sobs you think you would face anything that would dare come for him or his sister#not because it is your duty as the guardian of the cards#but because you love them#touya/yue#ccs#yue
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what if you got attacked by a moth and his aphid army. what then
jk he wouldn’t hurt anyone. he’s just a little muddy guy
#more lethia posting. sorry. I just think he’s neat#and all the other bug people for that matter. I’d draw all of them but uh.#I have a horrible migraine and should Probably sleep it off#BREAKING NEWS. turns out that forgetting to eat will give you a headache. shocking information#aaaanyway here. more moths.#there is nothing stronger in the world than a trans moth and his aphid friends#not a pikmin post#not bug fables#< shockingly. he could very easily be turned into a bf oc#pdbc#I’m on a bit of a lethia kick because admittedly I forgot about him until today (ironic)#I was gonna flesh him out more in the past but I never got to it#but I woke up today thinking man. what if I made them a moth#coughs up blood uuuurgghrhrh I just love drawing his little bendy antenna#I’ll shut up now#art
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ououghhh
#oughh i need to restart my diet im feeling so baddd TwT#literally feel like garbage from the way ive been eating but ive been just so stressed and so much has been happening#that i didn't have ghe mental space to keep up with the diet and just kind of put it aside#but now i just feel constantly sick and full and im not even trying to restrict to eat like normal amounts im just going crazyy#doesnt help that my scale ran out of batteries and i keep forgetting to buy new ones#ughh#but yeag i feel reall bad and stuffed and sick constantly and the hunger cues are all over the place again and it's just#a horrible time#dude i felt so good physically when i was dieting i need to go backkkk#but it takes.... so much mental energy#i guess i have to pick one over the other ughhh#diet mention#weight mention#fuckk i dint wanna fuck up my progress either but tbh im not that worried about that rn im not going to regain everything from even a few#weeks of eating like shit#even now i just woke up and i feel really bad physically because of everything i ate ughhhh
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ok and like what's in the past is in the past and doesn't much matter now and that's how this system operates and that's FINE but also fuck you 🐑
#and by extension fuck you too 🩹#sorry i woke up to some horrible no good news from these two and I'm about to start killing#(it's not bad news at all. I'm happy for them. I'm still however holding a grudge from source.)#so I'm just like Oh! Congratulations ☺️ <= About to start murdering actually#pk;m Cloudy🌦️#I'm a petty bitch at the end of the day sorry. what happened was a lifetime ago yes but I'm still pissed about it actually#WHERE is soul's trident I need to stab a bitch
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the common thread btwn my vwoops is the undying loyalty and I'm just holding them up to the light
#i am writing a thing. About seeing the dark apparitions#and it's mainly abt like. Getting feelings blasted with the bonds that the vwoops have made#In a roughly end-poem core way#Like the dream logic of it all.#Unable to explain why but you KNOW this is dire and you know you love this person and you know you'd trust them with your life. or more#That post abt the guy who dreamt a whole life with a family and woke up and cried#In the vibe of like... End Poem .#and the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. and the player began a new dream / you are the player / wake up . ETC.#And then RC begins to kick to the side of all of that and enact horrible violence#But. All three of them agree on one thing#if they were to talk about their problems.
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wow i kind of forgot about this blog
#talk tag#not that anyone cares but the last few months have been crazy#had a bunch of major life changes and horrible things happened and subsequent crisis in faith#nearly abandoned christianity and was going back to identifying as jewish#went to synagogue a few times and felt very hollow and performative#woke up one day with this feeling of absolute dread and knowing im on the wrong path#realized i like genuinely really believe in Jesus and i can't give up on Him just because things arent going the way#i expect them to in life#i hope my faith can be renewed now#also i moved cities so im trying to find a church to go to in my new city#and like publicly identify as christian for the first time in my life#idk im nervous to but it feels like a weight has been lifted now that i know this is what i must do
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im writing something. do you guys have any suggestions for some kind of unhinged shenanigans that greedling would try to rope al into
#im wanting to write more in the same greed lives au that woke up new is in#bc i think al did not interact with either of these two enough#much less the two of them as a horrible chaotic unit#and I want them to get him involved in shenanigans bc all three of them are fun to write
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im SICK and TIRED of being SICK and TIRED I want to feel better!!!!!! hello!!!!!!!
#woke up with a horrible headache that has not gone away with tylenol :)))))#im supposed to work tomorrow and i dont think i can go unless i feel better tomorrow#saw the doctor and getting an inhaler for my cough and getting tested for flu and covid again#tested at home for covid and its negative#so idk we'll see#im worried this is turning into bronchitis :(((((#happy new year to me 🙃🙃🙃#ofc this would happen now of all times#mine#vent
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Now why the hell do I have such intensely realistic dreams I had to wake up and stare at the ceiling for like ten minutes to make sure I was alive.
#me 🤝 having dreams where everyone is mad at me and also I'm having a near death experience and everyone is still mad at me#literally had a dream that I was riding a bike and got hit by a car and woke up in the hospital then felt like shit but was okay enough and#then in my dream I was like hmm I wanna go to a gas station to get snacks bc that's why I was biking in the first place and so I drove to a#random gas station and came back to my car after getting snacks and there was a fucking mountain lion inside my car that immediately pounced#on me and started trying to bite my face and no one would fucking help me at all#it was terrifying and I literally like argued with my mom in the dream and she said all this personal horrible shit and didn't care at all#that I was hit by a car and then I went to the gas station and millie was there and she was mad at me for not going on some trip with her#and her family even tho I was like nah dude I was like JUST hit by a car this morning bro I don't wanna go to Connecticut with u and ur fam#and even the gas station clerk was mad at me for some reason and he tried to charge me a hundred dollars for a pack of icebreakers and a#box of strawberries like dude what the fuck is wrong with my brain but I remember every fucking detail of it like why is my brain so evil#my brain will be like hmm time to dream... let's think about exactly how it would feel to almost die once and then be mauled by a big cat#like why in my dreams do I feel everything that happens to me. why did I feel my broken nose and he blood dripping down my face and the road#burn across my body why are my dreams like yeah u can smell the mountain lions breath as you're trying to hit it with ur purse and it's like#drooling on ur face cause it's trying to wrap it's jaws around your entire head#like bruh. hey brain. did I really need that today? did I really need two near death experiences in one dream? and also everyone hates me?#was that really necessary brain? my brain also had the audacity to set the dream in New Hampshire during winter. why would I be riding a#bike in the middle of winter and then be slammed into the road and then be attacked by a lion what message is that trying to tell me exactly#when I woke up I literally touched my nose to make sure it wasn't broken thats how fucking real my dreams are I hate it#anyways I'm mad at my brain for having hyper realistic dreams where I'm in pain physically and emotionally
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guy who will put in headphones and turn them up sooo loud to avoid hearing the news.
#i don’t like it this early in the morning like i just woke up and i’m already not feeling great i don’t#terrible news about horrible things in the world at 8:09 am#samael speaks
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May Allah guide and protect the rescue teams of Syria and Turkey as they try and rescue the thousands of people trapped, the dead are already reportedly in the thousands as well. Their infrastructure was not meant to handle such a large Quake let alone two in a row. This will make records and not in a good way. Again I pray Allah guide you all,
With so much love from America
#earthquake#im a nordic pagan but i had to use Allah instead#turkey#syria#سوريا syria#praying and thinking of you#woke up to the news its horrible
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I give too much advice to adults who are dedicated to acting like children and not wanting to understand ppl theyve decided to hate for no reason.
#like why do i extend my arm when you're just a bully with a woke coat of paint to justify your actions lol#like plenty of the posts i reblog say- just bc you dont like something or in this case SOMEONE. doesnt mean you have to find a secret#reason theyre somehow problematic to justify your dislike of them. sometimes you can just dislike ppl for dumb petty reasons even#id rather you just be honest that thats the reason instead of being a manipulative fuck making me think theres some secret other reason im#doing what im doing and if i dont listen to you then it means i dont actually want to be progressive or whatever. bc we both know thats not#the reason you're doing this. we both know you're just doing this bc you like to be a bully and found a woke way to do so.#we both know you dont actually care about me changing bc if i do listen to you and change. there will be a new expectation that i didnt#successfuly fill. thats just how ppl like yall work#thats just how bullies who like to see themselves as progressive are#i say like to see themselves as bc i see bullying as inherently a rightwing thing. and obviously if you're not being a disingenuous fuck rn#you know i mean genuine bullying when yoy bat someone around like a cat for not living up to your expectations#not calling ppl out for their genuine obvious shitty behavior#these are two different things and ik manipulative bullies who larp as progressive ppl know that but seems they wanna convince us theyre#the same so they can keep batting people around. please get a hobby. please find a new way to entertain yourself#oh and please for the love of fuck go to therapy bc no one does that shit other than when they feel inadequate themselves.#idk if you've noticed but i like never feel the need to bully people. idk why but i think its bc i love myself and i love being weird and#eccentric and not fitting anyones specific standards. idk. its more freeing to mot give a fuck what other ppl are like#and trying to change their behavior somehow someway to be more palatable to what youd like.#and maybe bullying isnt right wing but its definitely not progressive. sorry for not having the perfect phrasing ik its horrible#im just so terrible for not phrasing things the way you want i know.#ik a lot of the stuff about narcissists and bs but the shit about communal narcissists is what ppl like this remind me of#purely in it for the aesthetic. to look progressive and cool and diverting from the norm. but shits on anyone who might threaten their role#even if theyre just imagining theyd someone how threaten their role in this. oh and of course they only give af about shit to look good#which is why when you do something that doesnt fit the Aesthetic Of Progressivism then automatically you're kicked out and not progressive.#bc ppl who are 'communal narcissists' for lack of a better term. have set the standard that its how leftist you *appear* than what you do#or what you believe.#i wish we had a better term for this bc i think this a useful observation. i jst dont wanna throw ppl w personality disorders under the bus
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... the temptation of new vegas... the horror of updating the computer you haven't used in at least 2 months...
#i still cannot believe i have been sick for that long.#today i feel almost healthy but that's because i cheated and had an energy drink.#cause i was actually so tired i could barely move earlier... fell asleep once even.#and was still just as tired after i woke up. i didn't want the day it was trying to give me so meh. energy drink it is.#was worth it.#but like... nothing is more horrible that updating tech you haven't used in a while#and the pc updates take fucking ages normally... when it's been off for months? it takes HOURS!!!#all i want is new vegas... it does not want me#ryder speaking
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everything bad forever
#moved in with my mom because my grandma treats me like dogshit#found out a few days ago my mom doesnt even want me here and is just waiting for me to get tired and go back home#despite constantly saying she wants me to move in with her#woke up this morning getting yelled at because i spilled this fruit fly trap in the bathroom last night#(i cleaned it. btw. and left a note saying i bought a new one to replace it)#and also she got pissed because her baby sat on the floor and got dog hair on her from penny#and was like “oh ofc bc you dont clean and youre an idiot”#this entire time. shes on the phone with my grandma telling her all this and my grandma is like “welcome to my world”#as if im some horrible thing to have around for anyone#and my mom starts mocking me on the phone because i told her yesterday that 6am is a little early for me to wake up if i sleep at 2#and i just dont know what to do#tried to spend time w my mom and show her something i like the other day and she didnt care and tried to go on tiktok the whole time instead#i just. dude.#i cant stay here because my mom clearly hates me and doesnt want me here and i cant go home because itd be the same story with my grandma#(plus shes said its better without me there anyway. so. whatever i guess)#godddddd god god god#i dont like having to choose between two different tortures. i dont.
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